Here are some important points that we can take into consideration to find the right one to marry.


One major reason we fail to find the right spouse could be because we have not prayed enough about it.

John 16:24:”Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.”

Praying to God for a spouse is not at all worldly. We should not be ashamed about it. In the Old Testament, when God created Adam, He said it is not good for man to be alone.

Whereas in the New Testament, some people argue that Paul preached about being single, but the fact is that Paul also realized it is better to marry than to commit adultery or fornication because of our sinful nature.

Nonetheless, some of us may face the problem here is that even though we have prayed about it, God does not answer it. Let’s remember that marriage is God’s will for us, but there are some aspects about marriage and relationships that can be worldly or fleshly.

James 4:3 “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.”

As opposed to John 16:24 that says God will give if we ask, we need to know that there is still a limitation in the context it applies to. The verse here clearly says that ‘because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

How can God contradicts Himself and answer our prayer if it’s going to fulfill our lust? We need to separate lust and needs. We need to mature ourselves quickly enough so that God does not have to chastise us the hard way.

If we based our prayer on glorying God instead of our flesh, rest assured that God is more likely to answer them, like getting us a partner, repairing our broken relationships, or mending a struggling marriage, etc.

James 1:6: “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.”

A prayer that lacks faith will remain unanswered also. It just shows that we do not trust God enough that He will take care of our problems. Faith is such an important ingredient in our prayers because having faith will help us learn to surrender and have peace while waiting for our prayers to be answered.


Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

For every aspect of our relationship to work, confidence is essential. If we truly believe in Christ strengthening us and God guiding us every step of the way, we will have a substantial amount in our actions. Our confidence should come from our faith in the Lord. This will help us to win over the affection of overs.

Do Not Be Discouraged

We should not be too quick to get discouraged, leading us to make irrational decisions, like rushing off into an inappropriate relationship. We see how many relationships and marriages out there are full of problems and defects. It is usually because of quick and irrational decisions made out of foolishness.

Joshua 1:8-9 : “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”

Sometimes work problems and our relationships with people can cause a lot of emotional turmoil. Hence when people become impatient, they start compromising and cutting corners, trying to get ahead of the will of God, which then ends up involved in the wrong relationships.

Some other times people are discouraged because of the way they look. This is also a sign of not trusting God, that He is in charge of every part of our lives.

Too Late

James 4:14 “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”

Too often, we are betting on miracles instead of our initiatives to take advantage of every situation. Nevertheless, we are to do it with wisdom and be smart about our approaches. We should aim to do our best but trust in the Lord with the outcome. If it’s in God’s will that the relationship is not meant to work out, then we have to let go.