Why did God elect Jacob and hate Esau?

Romans 9:10-12 is used by Calvinists that before they did any good or evil before birth, God chose Jacob as the one whom the elder will serve.

Then they add verse 13 that God loved Jacob and hated Esau.

However, that doesn’t make sense.

Before Esau was even born, God chose to hate him.

How cruel it would be for anyone to do that to a newborn baby that is innocent.

It makes more sense that Romans 9:10-12 is the state found in Genesis 25:23.
And then Romans 9:13 is a verse founded 1,500 years later almost.

And Malachi chapter 1:23 “When he loved Jacob, hated Esau” is based on that. Esau persecuted his brother, Jacob.

That’s why God hated Esau, the verses proven in Obadiah 1:2-3.