As single Bible-believing Christians, we often face difficulties with finding the right partner. This is because Bible believers are truly the minority, and if we want to find or marry a spouse that is according to God’s will, that will narrow down our options.

This is why we will be tempted to find the love of our lives that are of the world but not God’s will.

There are a few problems that we can address if we want to have a blessed relationship or marriage.

Fantasy

We often paint this perfect fantasized picture in our head, how we envision our future spouse to be. Physically attractive, financially stable, God-loving, and willing to work for the Lord, with a great character. We are setting ourselves up for disappointment because this is just unrealistic.

Proverbs 31:10 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”

Where do we get these fantasized ideas from?

These ideas come from the media and entertainment industry. We often see how characters are being presented and portrayed in movies and television. They are just setting a standard that is way beyond the norm and requires multiple screening and filtration levels.

To understand it a little further, it simply means that we only want the perks and what pleases us in a relationship but not willing to pay the price.

How many of us are willing to sacrifice on appearance, to accept health or financial defect in a relationship? This is in total contrast to the fantasy we have always imagined.

Even though we see the world does not follow God’s will or biblical instructions in getting a spouse, the divorce rate is still alarming. This is simply because many people have instilled a fantasized mentality when managing their relationship and marriage, only to continuously find themselves unable to meet one another’s expectations and eventually divorce.

It is also evident in Hollywood, among celebrities, that divorce is prevalent. Even with the kind of appearance and status they have, their relationships cannot last.

So this explains to us how instilling a fake and idealistic perception in our relationship will not work.

1 Corinthians 7:12,27 “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.” 

In Genesis 1, we know that what God had joined together, let no man put asunder, which means no excuse from a man should cause the separation. Fake expectations now bind us, and more so our wickedness and sin, which lead to the destruction of our relationships and marriages.

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 “And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not from them, I withheld not my heart from any joy; for my heart rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of all my labour. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun.”

King Solomon claimed that he retrieved no joy for all that he owned, which included the women of his life.

Reality

We need to be the one who has a little good and be the bigger person who sets a great example. If we genuinely want to increase our likelihood to find a great spouse, then we need to be the one that continues to seek improvement in various aspects of our lives.

For example, even as Bible believers, we need to have some form of intellectual abilities rather than presenting ourselves to others in a weird manner that rubs people wrong.

We know that getting addicted to plastic surgeries and vanity is not pleasing to God, but it does not mean that we should go entirely on the contrary and do not care about our appearance. There is a distinction between dress with decency and dress unprepossessingly. Let’s not forget that God wants us to be wise in our dealings with others.

Initiative

A lot of times, we Bible believers tend to take God’s blessings for granted. We think that God somehow owes it to us and that He will miraculously toss us the love of our life in front of us. That’s not how it works. Being proactive and taking the initiative is common logic if we want to have the result that we have been longing for.

So, be realistic about our perception, but all that culminates with wisdom, which we can seek from God.

How can we expect our prayers about getting a spouse to be answered if we pray all day long, and sit at home after that? Going out there and getting involved in real-life situations or networking will be much more realistic after our prayers. This is when we pray and trust in the Lord and do our part to make sure our prayers are answered.

Assemble with Saved Christians

Hebrews 10:25 “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is ; but exhorting one another : and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” 

Looking at the right pool or community will also help us to find the right spouse. We do not expect every assembly we go will be full of Bible believers, but neither should we compromise our standards to going for worldly unbelievers. When we meet the right person who is at least already a saved Christian, help him/her grow spiritually with the Lord.

Approval

We know that God is the final authority. As Bible believers, we want our marriages to be approved by God, as well as our Church. If we don’t do that, we do not have someone who holds us and our relationships accountable. There is a spiritual reason behind this. If we truly want to please God and the body of Christ, we put them first before pleasing our own flesh. That is when we will get God’s blessings to their fullest. This is because we know that the world, even our spouse will let us down, but God won’t, so having His approval should be the ultimate step.